Caught [Chapter Eight]

Kinks: Voyeurism, Exhibitionism

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POV: Alex

Mike didn't even give me time to put on clothes.

Fuck, This is what every voyeur guy dreads. Or at least, what every voyeur guy who is into non-consensual voyeurism dreads.

Being caught.

Well, I guess we're quits at this point, considering he caught me. To be honest, I don't know who caught who in the more embarrassing position.

Mike was pretty vulnerable and pure in the bathroom. Quite lustful too, the way he's begging for me to watch him.

But I was downright dirty and vulgar with how I wanted him and needed him. No, how much I craved and desired for him like the thirsty bitch that I am. And with my toys and my entirety exposed for him to catch!

I didn't even get to see his dick!

So there I was, seated on my couch, feeling crushed and shitty, the shame creeping up to me in the safety and sanctity of my own home. I owned the place and all, but seeing Mike's glare and crossed arms, I felt terribly unwelcome. Yung tipong parang ako yung dapat lumayas at wag nang bumalik dahil sa kahihiyan, ganung feeling.

"Since when, Alex?" Mike leaned against the kitchen counter. I couldn't bear to look at his face, but I know his glare is boring right into my soul with utter judgment.

And betrayal.

Frienship over, Alex. Wait for it.

"Mike, I... I can explain." I started, fumbling for the right words to say. Fuck it, Alex, who are you kidding? There are no right words to say at this point.

Ikaw yung nagkamali. Fucking own up to it. Admit everything to Mike.

"Since. When." Mike's words escaped in a more serious hiss.

"Since we started hanging out here." I choked and gulped down. Feeling ko maiiyak ako sa hiya. "I... I couldn't help it, Mike. When we learned that you and Janice broke up, I... I don't know what came over me..."

"Wow, Alex." Mike's sarcastic voice rolled out like a whiplash against my soul. Ang sakit, sobra. All that pleasure a while ago eroded away with his admonition. "What do you expect me to say to this? How do you even expect me to react? My friend, my best friend, a friend I trusted with all my feelings..."

"I'm sorry, Mike, I..."

"You're sorry? You're sorry that, what, you spied on me and feasted on my nudity, my lust, my dick, my privacy?!" it came out as almost a shout, and I flinched at his words. "Why, Alex, do you like it? Do you like watching me so badly?"

"It's... Mike, I..." I fumbled for words as I turn towards him.

"Do you like seeing this?"

You know your brain is just messed up when a spark of lust ignites in a sea of volatile confusion and regret. Mike suddenly took off his shirt and flexed his chest. He threw the shirt to the side and walked over towards me, stopping right in front of where I sat.

I gulped hard. Mike, despite glaring down on me, was sporting a predatory smirk on his face.

I'm literally between a rock and a hard place.

Fuck.

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POV: Mike

Tangina, I'm enjoying this too much.

Since the moment I surprised Alex with my presence his every reaction so far had been priceless. He's rolled from malapit nang atakehin sa puso to wallowing in his regrets (he deserves that anyway) and now to a state of confusion between gloom and admiration.

You fucking slut. Even in my anger you still thirst for me basta magpakita ako ng kahit anong body part na pinagnanasaan mo.

Well, I hope you're ready for the next shots I will fire.

"Ano, Alex?" I spat at him, with as much convincing spite as I could muster. Tangina, this is child's play. I've done these sorts of "acting" when i was with Janice and, what can I say, I'm a natural at it, she says. "Tatangahan mo nalang? Anong nangyari sa tapang mo mamboso kanina?"

Alex bit his lip with obvious indecision. That's right, at least this is payback enough for what you did, even if I secretly liked it.

Tangina mo ka, Alex, matagal mo na pala tong gusto. I've been blind to your advances because I thought so highly of our friendship that I never put malice in any of your flirty moves.

But that's yesterday's news, Alex. Now we take things to an entirely new level.

Normally my straight ass would be creeped out as fuck, but damn, I'm totally fucking enjoying this.

I must be, what did they call that term? Bi-curious? Bisexual? Whatever.

I got turned on by Alex and that counts for a lot.

Still quiet. His eyes keep dancing between my eyes, my nipples, my crotch, and the floor. I note that his gaze lingers for much longer at my nipples and crotch, and that felt like a drug that coursed through my libido and made my dick throb.

That one didn't escape Alex's notice. Wherever his eyes were at the time, they rounded on my slowly swelling-up crotch area, and it made him swallow.

Gotcha, sucker.

"For fuck's sake, Alex. Ang simple ng tanong ko." I shoved him back at the sofa and straddled him so that I'm kneeling with my crotch just a mere inch or two from his face. "There. Nilapit ko na sayo. Yan gusto mo diba? Yan yung pinagpapantasyahan mo kanina habang nagjajakol ka diba? Tangina, it's right at your fucking face now! Don't tell me you're getting fucking cold feet at this point."

For good measure, I flexed my dick so that it swelled up against the restraint of my undies and shorts.

Fuck, I felt a drop of precum leak. My façade almost broke, but I held firm.

My fun isn't over yet.

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POV: Alex

Shit, this is so messed up.

This is so fucking messed up.

Normally my voyeuristic instincts would fire up at full libido with what Mike is doing right now. A bare-chested demigod of a man pressing his angry bulge directly into my face and dirty-talking to my face to go for it? Fuck that, I'd be all over that dick in two seconds. One, if I'm really horny to begin with.

Now, I wouldn't even take a day to do anything to this sight. Heck, I'd even wish for it to go away.

I'm so ashamed of myself. So ashamed of this kink - this flaw - that I have. Why, of all people, do I have such a kink? Why must the temptation always be there for me when I see a guy I lust over?

I've always had healthy outlets with guys at Grindr, but I crossed a line when I turned my eyes on Mike. He didn't want this. He never consented to this.

Now this is going to break our friendship.

You're stupid, Alex. You're stupid and you let your lust rule over you. Now you'll pay the ultimate price.

I closed my eyes and I felt a tear leak down one eye.

Wala na kong mukhang ihaharap sayo, Mike.

"I'm sorry, Mike..." I whimpered in a low, cracking voice. "I'm really, really, really sorry..."

"Yun na yon? Sorry?" Mike made a tch sound and I felt him move away from the sofa. I heard him pick up his shirt and kick one of my chairs as cover my face with my hands and begin to sob.

I'm lost for words right now. Lahat ng tapang and talino ko for scheming these kinds of things, nawala in the heat of Mike's anger and vindication.

I heard Mike put on his shirt and zip his bag open in a hurry. He seemed to rummage through his things and then I felt something soft hit my head and drop to the floor. Parang damit.

"Have fun with that, Alex. Iyo na, souvenir." I heard the jingling of keys, the abrupt opening of my condo door, quickly followed by its hard slamming that made some of my hanging portraits shake a bit.

I sniffled and stared at the thing he hit me with that now lay on the floor.

A pair of green boxer briefs. Uniqlo.

I picked it up and held it in my hands. Probably the last thing I'll have of Mike, or the last thing that I'll remember (or forget) him with. Parang ang sakit i-associate to a piece of clothing that I usually collect as a trophy from guys.

To me this is like my eternal mark of shame.

I gripped the underwear with both hands and held them against my forehead, breaking into tears at last. The mounting regret and anguish finally went over and my emotions just poured out onto the floor, wishing that this was just some nightmare that I'd wake up to.

Mike, I'm sorry I'm a weak person.

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POV: Mike

Not really what I had in mind, but scaring Alex into tears wasn't really part of my plan. I think I overdid it a bit.

So I decided to just storm out of the unit and let him wallow in his regret for the rest of the day. From a certain point of view, he deserved it.

What if it was another person who did not take kindly to this act? Someone who is also a dear friend to him, someone who trusted him, someone who was prepared to bare his soul and secrets to such a person?

All things considered, Alex got off easy with me. Any other guy and he'd probably be behind bars now, or worse.

Still, that was too much, Mike. I kinda want to have Alex now, but it won't do you good to scare him shitless. Baka hindi kana pansinin.

Will he, though?

I step into the elevator collecting my thoughts and inabutan ako ng warning ng elevator to press a floor number before I snapped back into the present.

Will Alex just let it stay at that and not talk?

I think he's better than that.

Then again, he's probably feeling so shitty and ashamed of himself that he might never talk to me anymore, let alone look me in the eye.

Heck, he might even resign at the office!

Or worse...

A bit of concern and worry throbbed into my chest as my thoughts turned down that path. I didn't mean it like that naman siguro! I wasn't too hard on Alex just now... right?

Right?

If I assumed Alex was feeling shitty and scattered, it was my turn to feel shitty and scattered. I had wanted to make him feel the repercussions of what he did, but I didn't want to take that too far. Maybe let it simmer for a few days and then we can have a talk.

Now that the possibilities occur to me, I probably should talk soon.

Ding. The elevator doors opened and I stepped out, taking out my phone to check the time.

Quarter to twelve. I'll definitely be late.

I text my sister again, this time telling her that I'm stuck in traffic and hahabol nalang ako. I then book a new Grab, this time straight to Fairview. Tangina, lumaki pa gastos ko.

Right now I don't even know if the entire thing was worth this cost. Kanina siguro, oo, pero ngayon parang mas madaming sakit ng ulo na nag-compound dahil sa mga nangyari.

Well, I was partly responsible for that. And come on, a lesson needed to be taught.

Hopefully for the betterment of our friendship.

The Grab arrives in front of the condo once again and I step out, casting a final glance up before settling in the passenger seat and buckling myself up.

Let the lesson sink in for now, Alex. This isn't over yet.

You might think it's creepy, but a smile crossed my face as the Grab drove off.

Stick with me, Alex. I'll make it worth your while.

Our fun is just about to get started.

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POV: Alex

I just stayed in bed all day.

This must be what depression feels like.

Alam mo yung feeling na wala kang energy to do anything at all? That's me the whole day, even until right now as darkness creeps back into my unit and the day basically came and went.

I didn't even leave my bed after I threw myself crying into it after Mike left. Cried myself to sleep, then woke up and just spent the rest of the time just lying there and staring at the ceiling, the windows, the room, anything my eyes can fixate on for a bit of time.

The background sounds of rain continued to play on my sound system, giving an even gloomier vibe about the place.

Randomly, I would check my phone, seeing if Mike would do anything to expose me or make some post or message alluding to what happened today.

Nothing so far. Our GC with Samantha and Lester buzzed with a lot of energy and chats, most of it full of hype about the Star Wars marathon we had and how they're looking forward to the LOTR one next. As if magkakaron pa ng next time, guys.

Surprisingly, Mike is replying sa GC, saying how much he enjoyed hanging out with us - he mentioned me explicitly too along with Samantha and Lester - and how he's looking forward to the next weekend hangout. Yeah, sure, right, maybe it won't be happening here at my place anymore.

Halata na I'm browsing through the GC because I'm seenzoning their chats. Eventually Samantha takes notice and jumps on me:

Samantha: Hoy Alex, alam naming gising kana. Sagot sagot din pag me time.

Lester: Lol. Mike, did u get Alex drunk again

Samantha: Oo nga, baka nilasing mo na naman, Mike.

Mike: Haha, hindi kaya, uy. Baka late na nagising as usual, tulog-mantika pa pag-alis ko kanina e.

Lester: What did u expect. If Alex wakes up early its the end of the world.

Samantha: Ayy, baka me kasama right now. Sige Alex go lang, enjoy-in mo na muna yan, hihih.

Mike: Cut him slack, guys. Sunday is Alex-time. Baka mamaya next Saturday di na tayo pabalikin nyan.

Next Saturday? I was almost tempted to reply. Mike's still alluding to a next Saturday?

My heart leapt up with some minuscule amount of hope. Maybe he isn't as angry? Maybe I just overreacted and got too paranoid?

Samantha: Wushu, ikaw pa tatanggihan nyan, alam mo namang labidabs ka nyan, bestfriend na halos turing sayo nyan.

Lester: If we didn't know better you and Alex might as well be jowas.

Samantha: Oo nga. Ba't nga ba di nalang maging kayo?!

Mike: Haha, you guys. :)

I guess with depression comes denseness, because whatever Mike is implying with his words, I can't perceive it. I'm normally sharper than this, but I guess because my brain is overridden with so much guilt right now, I can't really assert my own mindset against Mike's.

It did spur me to try and do the right thing, at least. Something I should have done kanina pa.

I open a private message with Mike and send a message:

Me: Mike, I'm sorry about what happened kanina. I was a coward to say it to your face and I know there's no forgiveness for what I did. It was wrong and shameful and there's no excuse for breaking your trust like that.

Me: I'm sorry. I would ask for forgiveness, but I know I don't deserve that right now. I was a mess and I ruined our friendship because of my issues.

I know I could have worded it better and perhaps with more tact, but that was as honest and as open as my brains could explain at the time. All the while my heart is thumping in my chest as I send the replies and watch Mike see the replies.

The heartbeats got harder as I saw him typing. Fuck, eto na. The verdict is coming.

Mike: We'll talk about this tomorrow, Alex. I'm not done with you yet.

I closed my eyes, bit my lips to keep myself from crying again, then held my phone to my chest.

Tomorrow's gonna be one hell of a day for me.

The phone vibrated again with another message:

Mike: Goodnight, Alex. :)

A... smiley?

What are you trying to say, Mike...?

My brain overloaded with thoughts and possibilities and I just tossed my phone to the side and buried my head under my pillows.

God, please let it just be Tuesday already!

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POV: Mike

There, I hope that softens the blow somewhat.

I lay on my bed in my room, phone in hand, still staring at the last words I sent Alex. I can still sense that he's shaken over what happened early today, but I'm glad to know that at least he has the guts and the sense to apologize better now.

Deep down, he's a good guy and really knows how to feel bad for his own shit. Kudos to you, at least, Alex.

I set the phone down on my bare chest and put my arms over my head, staring at the ceiling as I collect my thoughts. Tomorrow's going to be an interesting day, at least, and I want to at least set Alex's fears to rest by then.

At the end of the day, I can never really stay may at him. Heck, I wasn't even mad in the first place. Fuck you, Mike, you actually enjoyed every moment of what happened.

Well, got mad for just a bit, maybe, but yeah, let's not dwell on that anymore.

I close my eyes and my mind immediately wanders to the things I saw and heard this morning. Alex desperately moaning my name as he masturbated, walking in on him at the peak of his orgasm, and then seeing his conflicted lust as I confronted him.

3/3, all things excited me. Alex is so totally into me.

I felt the familiar stirring between my legs and looked down to see my boner tenting the blanket I have over the lower part of my body.

Yeah, you like being seen by Alex too, don't you.

I threw off the blanket around me and spread my legs, reaching for the bottle of lube in my bedside table drawer.

Sorry, little Mike, but it's gonna be Fantasy-Alex watching you tonight for now.

I almost came as my lubed-up hand wrapped around my hard dick and closed my eyes to see a lustful Fantasy-Alex watching me pleasure myself.

Fuck, Alex, Monday can't come any sooner!

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Continued on Chapter 9